Whoops

I just exploded on a poor lady on the other end of the phone. Now I feel really bad about it. She had nothing at all to do with the reason I was upset. I wish I knew her name to apologize.

Why did I explode?

Payton has had an appointment scheduled with his pediatrician for today at 11:45 for the past three weeks as far as I was concerned. I have the written appointment card and everything. I have been looking forweard to this since the day it was scheduled. I have told everyone and their dog about this appointment. I usually get a reminder call two days before the appointments and today I realized that I never got one so I called to confirm.

The receptionist never scheduled it in the computer. He was new - his second day. My beloved Patrick is no more at Dr. Smart's office and that sucks. *sniffle* He wrote out the card and never actually officially scheduled it.

I left a message for Dr. Smart's nurse. I can only imagine what it says: "Please call this rude crazy woman back or she will come down there and make an embarassment of herself at 11:45. Thank you."

I got a call back within 15 minutes. We're on at noon. Thank goodness.

I guess the reason I'm upset about this is that I didn't realize that the scars of our ordeal still run so deeply. I FLEW off the handle. The reaction did not fit the situation at all. I couldn't stop it, though. I'm still cut so deeply about Payton's health and well being that I completely lost it. My chest still hurts from the anger over the appointment situation. My throat hurts from choking back the tears. I'm embarassed that I have healed my son, but have not healed myself.